It’s less than two weeks until Election Day, which can mean only one thing. It’s time to play “Paraphrasing the Candidates,” where I play you a video of the candidate, and then transcribe for you exactly what they said. Kind of. Okay, not really.

“You know, my opponent’s supporters have been saying some pretty nasty things [...]

Honestly, he does. You see it. I know you do. Of course, if I remember my Aesop’s Fables at all, this means that Obama must be the rabbit. I certainly hope that it doesn’t follow that “slow and steady wins the race.” Actually, following the presidential campaign as I have these past few years, it [...]

So, John McCain has picked his VP. I can’t say that it’s the best pick or even a reasonable pick. In fact, it’s a straight up shot at the woman vote and little else. Sure, Sara Palin is a strong woman, but she’s very inexperienced in politics, serving as the mayor of a 8000 person [...]

Despite the fact that I’m firmly in the bag for Bob Barr’s mustache for President this year, I still have to admit a morbid curiosity in the campaign of John McCain. Truth be told, I’ve always had a certain fondness for John McCain, kind of in the same way I do for Abe Vigoda and [...]

In one fell swoop, “celebrity” Paris Hilton has managed to destroy every single foothold gained for women in presidential politics achieved by Hillary Clinton. Bravo, you slutty heiress, bravo.
If you have no idea what I’m talking about, count yourself lucky, go see what Erik is writing about this week and forget you were ever here. [...]

Some dude named ‘Glenn’ posted the following comment on Obama vs. McCain: Who be the Next President?:
Lets see, the old white guy who was a war hero and has years, and I do mean years of political experience, our the young black guy with almost NO political experience, thats a tough one. I think I [...]

Peggy Noonan is a daft bitch. In a column from the Wall Street Journal last week, she laid out the tired argument of the two Americas. It’s been done many times before and it will be done many times again, and I really shouldn’t let it get to me, but I do. Seeing as she’s [...]

Hello, country.
I’ve been getting letters from some of you out there wondering how I enjoyed Philadelphia. Let me make this perfectly clear: I’ve never been to Pennsylvania. I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I do appreciate the letters. As you all know, I am a reader. But I was not in Philadelphia [...]

Just in case you’re confused, the picture on the left is presidential hopeful, Senator John McCain. The picture on the right? Well, that’s the golden idol that Indiana Jones snuck stole at the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
If anyone needs me, I’ll be spending the rest of my Monday afternoon looking for other [...]

Like many of you, I arrived home from work last night, flicked my TV to CNN/MSNBC/FOX NEWS/PBS and let the results of 22 primaries and caucuses wash over me like lukewarm pea soup.
My head is still spinning.
Here’s what I learned…

Obama won the delegate count, won more states by a larger margin and closed the margin [...]