Chalk and Awe
By Erik Hagen • Apr 8th, 2008 • Category: Sports
I know I’ve never expressed that much interest in any sport before, with the exclusion of professional wrestling and water polo. But my dad is an enormous Kansas Jayhawks fan, so since he doesn’t have a blog of his own, I choose to write the following in his honor, and it s done in lieu of a Father’s Day present. Here’s to you, Pop.
Warning: What is to follow is an example of extreme childishness and poor sportsmanship that should not be emulated by anyone at any time. Those with any sense of maturity are warned to turn away now.
YOU LOSE, JERKS!! YOU LIGGITY, LIGGITY, LIGGITY LOOOOOOOOOSE!!!! L-O-S-E, LOSE, LOSE, LOSE! L-O-S-E, LOSE, LOSE, LOSE!!!!
Hey, Justin Timberlake, why so sad. buddy? Is it because you LOST? Damn right it is. We’re sending you to MEXICO now! I don’t know why! WE JUST ARE!!
Rock Chalk, Jayhawk, KU! Rock Chalk, Jayhawk, KU! Rock Chalk, Jayhawk, KU! Rock Chalk, Jayhawk, KU! Rock Chalk, Jayhawk, KU! WHOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Okay, and now I’m spent.
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Erik Hagen is the end result of the pairing of an X and Y chromosome. He was born into this world covered in blood, naked, and slightly hysterical. Very little has changed since.
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Sports aren’t really my forte’- more of a reader, but I have to disagree with your support of the Jayhawk, which is quite clearly an inferior bird. Aren’t there any teams with America’s mascot, the Bald Eagle, as their mascot, that you could cheer for? The Fightin’ Bald Eagles! Failing that, couldn’t you just cheer for American University, unquestionably the more AMERICAN of universities. Coming in a close second- George Washington University.