Paris Hilton = Not Hot
By Nate • Aug 6th, 2008 • Category: Politics
In one fell swoop, “celebrity” Paris Hilton has managed to destroy every single foothold gained for women in presidential politics achieved by Hillary Clinton. Bravo, you slutty heiress, bravo.
If you have no idea what I’m talking about, count yourself lucky, go see what Erik is writing about this week and forget you were ever here. Your brain will thank you later, trust me. If you do have an idea of what I’m talking about, stick around for the video clip and subsequent rant. Punch and cookies will be served afterward.
It gets worse every time I see it. Stop shaking your head, you knew what you were getting into when the words “Paris Hilton” and “Campaign Ad” were brought to your attention. You were warned. I’m simply stunned at the revelation that, not only does Paris have a better energy policy than McCain, but that she can read!
I should probably leave dissection of such an ad to one of the more feminine writers here at Sod. idyllicmollusk comes to mind, since she always has a great perspective on shit like this. But, it’s been a week and a half since I’ve written anything for this site, so I’ll take my chances where I get them.
Honestly, is there anything more damaging than a ditsy pseudo-celeb who’s main shtick is acting dumber than she looks saying that she’s accepting the offer to run for president? Especially when we’ve already rejected a highly qualified, obviously intelligent, but highly unlikable woman’s bid? Is it time for us to start slapping women’s asses as they walk back from the copy machine and whistling at them as they saunter by our office doors? Is that the type of world we want to live in? Aren’t we better than that?
Sadly, it appears we’re not. What’s worse, it appears that one of our presidential candidates isn’t. For John McCain to even consider it a good idea to compare Barack Obama with Paris Hilton isn’t just insulting to Barack Obama (and black people everywhere…screw it, people everywhere) it’s insulting to our broken-down political process. We already don’t allow our candidates to talk about substantive issues, instead focusing on what accessories they wear on their lapels and who they hang out with in their free time, is it any surprise that one of them assumes that putting out an ad like this:
is a good idea and raises the discourse of a GODDAMN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION!!! You do remember that we’re supposed to be taking this sort of thing seriously, don’t you, John? They don’t refer to the President as “The Leader of the Free World” because it’s catchy, you dolt!
This is the kind of thing that turns the vast majority of Americans off to politics in general. Stop it, you doddering old coot.
PS - It’s also not a good idea to offer up your aging, starched wife as a contestant in the Miss Buffalo Chip contest at the Sturgis Bike Rally. No one, I repeat, NO ONE wants to see Cindy McCain topless or bottomless. Much less see her simulate sex acts on stage. *shudder*
If anyone needs me, I’m going to go crawl into a safe place and rock back and forth for awhile.
Nate is pretty sure Mark Twain said it best, "Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place."
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I can’t stand Paris at all, she’s just a generic blond (Which I bet is dyed) who grew up a spoiled brat, and has way too much money for her own good. But then again, she is the first woman to smuggle a chihuahua into a prison.
Her first sentence was “I want that, and that, and that, and that!”.
I just do not understand why she is famous and why she gets as much attention as she does. So what, that she’s part of the Hilton family. Have her clean rooms in one of her family hotels for a while just so she gets a grip on reality and what the typical worker has to go through to make ends meet. If the media never covered her again, it would be fantastic.
She is famous because of the videos that are circulating around the internet. Personally, I don’t think that she would be that famous if wasn’t for the videos; she is just another face that will glance the TV screen. Her face is just ordinary and her body is not really hot like that of Kim Kadarshian or anyone else who has a perfect body.