Helen Thomas Is The Balls
By Nate • Apr 24th, 2008 • Category: Politics
A few of you might remember a revelation that came to light rather quietly a few weeks ago and has since been more or less ignored by the press. It seems a certain leader of the free world and his top aides approved something that they had for years been denying any knowledge of. In fact, not only had they denied any knowledge, they had insisted that a certain world superpower doesn’t even engage in these acts and never has.
Of course, I’m talking about how our very own President George W. Bush and how he and his administration has for been denying that they knew about or even approved of torture of our enemies. Then, just a few weeks ago, it came to light that he did in fact know about it, his top advisors and underlings had even held meetings to decide what kinds of torture they would allow. I picture this meeting as being somewhat like ordering sushi, with a sheet listing all the different torture methods standing in for the sheet listing the California Rolls and Spicy Tuna.
“Do we want the Waterboarding or the Car Battery Hooked Up to the Balls? Ah, screw it, we can have both.”
As with most eventual admissions of wrongdoing or impropriety or corruption or misuse of government funds or cronyism. The list could go on and on, but I think you get my point. Every time something happens or gets reported on by the press, this administration seems to be able to control when it comes out, making sure that it’s at a time when the majority of our news media are looking the other way, like at a bitter Democratic primary, for example.
I’m just surprised they didn’t raise the “Threat Level” to “Orange.”
In any case, while the major news media has been covering the bloodthirsty horserace that has been going on between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton and ignoring the growing worldwide food crisis and other issues of global importance, they’ve also forgotten to stop and report on President Bush’s admission of knowing about our military’s torture of detainees and combatants. Well done, Mr. Blitzer, well done.
But for Helen Thomas, it might’ve slipped into history unnoticed by a large portion of the populace. In fact, it still might. But at least she’s not letting it go. She’s a rottweiler, that Helen. At a recent White Housr press briefing, she and Press Secretary Dana Perino had at it:
THOMAS: The President has said publicly several times, in two consecutive news conferences a few months ago, and you have said over and over again, we do not torture. Now he has admitted that he did sign off on torture, he did know about it. So how do you reconcile this credibility gap?
MS. PERINO: Helen, you’re taking liberties with the what the President said. The United States has not, is not torturing any detainees in the global war on terror. And General Hayden, amongst others, have spoken on Capitol Hill fully in this regard, and it is — I’ll leave it where it is. The President is accurate in saying what he said.
THOMAS: That’s not my question. My question is, why did he state publicly, we do not torture —
MS. PERINO: Because we do not.
THOMAS: — when he really did know that we do?
MS. PERINO: No, that’s what I mean, Helen. We’ve talked about the legal authorities —
THOMAS: Are you saying that we did not?
MS. PERINO: I am saying we did not, yes.
THOMAS: How can you when you have photographs and everything else? I mean, how can you say that when he admits that he knew about it?
MS. PERINO: Helen, I think that you’re — again, I think you’re conflating some issues and you’re misconstruing what the President said.
THOMAS: I’m asking for the credibility of this country, not just this administration.
MS. PERINO: And what I’m telling you is we have — torture has not occurred. And you can go back through all the public record. Just make sure — I would just respectfully ask you not to misconstrue what the President said.
THOMAS: You’re denying, in this room, that we torture and we have tortured?
MS. PERINO: Yes, I am denying that.
We don’t torture, huh? I’m speechless. The President admits to it, and then still gets to deny it. Absolutely stunning.
Anyway, it’s a given that Helen Thomas is a badass and deserves much praise for actually upholding some kind of journalistic ethics in the face of the mass incompetence that has been sweeping our news media for what seems like forever. She is truly a beacon of light in a dark, dark time.
I’d like to ask my own question of Ms. Perino, since I know that she surely frequents Sodblog.
Ms. Perino, you say that the President doesn’t condone torture and that we as a country do not torture. Could you please explain this?
Thank you for your time…
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Nate is pretty sure Mark Twain said it best, "Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place."
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nate, come on… perino has the right of it here.
you see, torture is ILLEGAL. john yoo wrote a series of legal positions arguing that, since the combatants are already illegal, they are therefore disquallified from any sort of legal protection from the US or world courts. anything you do to them is fair game, in the administration’s eyes. they do not torture, they subject detainees to “enhanced interrogation techniques”, which i suspect is a term that is not mentioned in the geneva convention accords… yet.
torture is illegal. what we do was MADE legal by our justice department. therefore, what was done to detainees can not be defined as torture. perino does a fantastic job of applying and operating within the constraints of that narrow deductive logic. frustrating, no?
if you have not yet done so, have a look at 60minutes interview of justice scalia’s comments on the differences between torture and punishment, wherein he sums his opinion up as definitive and “correct”… thank christ he’s already got it all figured out.