Original article here, or just below this one. Either way, read it before getting to this one.

Michele Bachmann is a chucklehead. She’s freaking clown shoes. Frankly, were it not for the unfortunate election of Jesse “The Mind” Ventura, I’d be dumbfounded that my fellow Minnesotans were stupid enough to elect such a twit. I do doubt that she’ll see a second term, though. We tend to remember quips like the one she made, store them away in our heads and let them stew for years and years before unleashing our vengeance. It’s a very Scandinavian trait. For example, some of us are still upset about Harold Hardrata’s defeat at Stamford Bridge in 1066.

Watch your back, Britain. Our vikings overran your country once, don’t think we couldn’t do it again.

As to whether I think that my brethren back home should hand over one of their two jobs to Michele, I’d have to say “no.” From the look of her, if she were to operate a fryer at McDonalds, she’d probably scorch her retinas. Yes, I think that she doesn’t look smart enough to remember to close her eyelids. One of her aides, who moonlights as a barista at Caribou Coffee, probably applies moistening drops to them every couple of minutes, out of sheer pity.

You have to give that to us. We may despise you and think you’re doing irreparable harm to our reputation as a state full of hard-working, thoughtful, dry-witted folks, but we’ll still go out of our way to protect you from your own stupidity.