Burger King Wants You to Spank It & Get On With Your Day
By Nate • Mar 27th, 2008 • Category: Advertising, Media, TV
My wife, Sara, brought this lovely little nugget of advertising gold to my attention last night by screaming “OH MY GOD! OHMYGOD!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT!!!” from halfway across the house.
Yeah, Morning Tongue. There are so many jokes here. Let me collect myself.
- Okay, first of all, isn’t this ad basically stating that this cheesy hashbrowns should only be enjoyed by men? I mean, women don’t get morning wood, which the ad is referring to, do they? Do they?!
- Is this Burger King’s way of letting me know that it’s okay to spank it when I wake up with morning wood, instead of trying to ignore it and get on with my day? Why do you care how often I please myself, Burger King? Is it because that creepy King Guy has a fetish more disturbing than just creeping everyone out?
- Even more disturbing that the photo is the possibility that Burger King wants you to start thinking about their cheesy tots while masturbating. Are they trying to shoe-horn their way into the porn industry’s turf?
- Did that dude in the commercial get hazard pay, since he was in danger of getting tongue cramps all throughout shooting? Tongue cramps are the worst. (Yes, it can happen. Your tongue is a muscle, muscles get cramps.)
In the end, I think we have to ask ourselves how far we are willing to delve into our raunchiness to promote something as disgusting as fast food. There’s clever and then there’s just crass. It’s a fine line to walk, sure, but you’d think that there are enough clever, disturbed people out there to pull it off without having to resort to “morning tongue.”
Then again, this is the company that brought you “big buckin’ chicken.”
So, maybe I should just get over myself and accept that fast food joints are going to employ this type of advertising from now on. But I warn you, I warn you all, that the further we walk down this road, the closer we get to this:
The jock in me thinks that this is a good thing, but the part of me that loves the sanctity of the written word is crying in the corner…
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Nate is pretty sure Mark Twain said it best, "Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place."
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