Why do we list?

Is it so that favorites in music are made more neat and orderly within our disorganized mind, so that some day when we are near crippled by Alzheimer’s or dementia, we will still miraculously remember that “No Code” is far and away the best Pearl Jam album? Is it to drive steadfast barriers and divisions between us and the differing — and might I say, inferior? — opinions of our friends? Is it to swing blindly away in the face of conventional wisdom that you can make lists of substantiated mathematics and science, where 4 is greater than 2 and outer space is bigger than a bread box, but how does one put a mathematical value upon the appeal of Oingo Boingo?

I will choose the second option. Prepare yourselves for the list to top all others, especially those of Chris Rausch and Nate Sjol.

Point of order, I don’t have footnotes on my list, because I don’t have a master’s degree, nor have I attended law school, so the world expects a little bit less out of me. I have listed my favorite albums, first and foremost, with the benefit of hindsight. Because, I am smarter now than I was in 1987. However, I am including, as best as I can remember, a sub-list to the main list, included in parenthesis where applicable, of my Favorite Albums at the Time, or FAATT. Also, you should know that I didn’t really start liking music until the day I really got into the Bobby Brown song on the “Ghostbusters 2″ soundtrack.

OK, with no further adieu, thine list:

1978 — Elvis Costello & The Attractions - “This Year’s Model” (FAATT - I don’t know; “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”?)
1979 — The Clash - “London Calling” (Is this one even close? I’ll bet this sweeps all three of our lists. In fact, it’s so good, I’m going to go ahead and state that “London Calling” was my favorite album when I was 1. I’ll bet it would have been, if I hadn’t have been so busy pooping myself.)
1980 — John Lennon & Yoko Ono — “Double Fantasy” (FAATT - We’re going to skip this feature for a few years, at least until I’ve learned to ride a tricycle.)
1981 — Black Flag - “Damaged” (Wow, did ‘81 ever suck for music. How did any of you older people get through this year? I mean, I like “Damaged,” but I certainly don’t love it. This selection pains me, I’ll admit.)
1982 — Bruce Springsteen - “Nebraska” (Yup, best Springsteen album. I said it. FAATT — The Smurfs - “Best of Friends”)
1983 — R.E.M. - “Murmur”
1984 — The Replacements - “Let It Be” (Oh, yeah. Get used to this pattern.)
1985 — The Replacements - “Tim” (Honestly, how do you choose between “Tim” and “Let It Be”? You don’t.)
1986 — R.E.M. - “Life’s Rich Pageant” (The best R.E.M. album. Every note is seared into my brain, thanks to repeated plays by my dad during my formative years.
1987 — The Replacements - “Pleased to Meet Me” (Hey, why not?)
1988 — The Pixies - “Surfer Rosa”
1989 — The Pixies - “Doolittle” (I’ve got “Surfer Rosa” and “Doolittle” side-by-side in reverence, just like with “Tim” and “Let It Be.” So, I don’t want to denigrate either without giving them the honors, even though it makes me look exceedingly repetitive in my musical tastes. It’s the truth, though. FAATT — Aerosmith - “Pump”)
1990 — Fugazi - “Repeater” (FAATT — Poison - “Flesh & Blood”)
1991 — Nirvana - “Nevermind” (Rausch is right about this one; not even Nirvana’s best album. Still … gotta go. FAATT — MC Hammer - “Too Legit to Quit”)
1992 — Tragically Hip - “Fully Completely” (I need some Hip. This is their high note. FAATT — Dr. Dre - “The Chronic”)
1993 — Nirvana - “In Utero” (FAATTSnoop Doggy Dogg - “Doggystyle”)
1994 — Weezer - “Blue Album” (FAATT — “Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik”)
1995 — Radiohead - “The Bends” (FAATT — Deftones - “Adrenaline”)
1996 — Pearl Jam - “No Code” (Wow, crazy year. Running so very close behind are Tool’s “Aenima” and, or course, Weezer’s “Pinkerton.” FAATT — Bush - “Razorblade Suitcase”)
1997 — Radiohead - “OK Computer” (Another close one. I just want to mention these runners-up: Elliott Smith - “Either/Or,” Deftones - “Around the Fur,” Smoking Popes - “Destination Failure.” FAATT - Foo Fighters - “The Colour and the Shape”)
1998 — Braid - “Frame and Canvas” (Actually, this was the first year I put together a Top Ten in published media, namely the Bismarck State College Mystician. I picked Pearl Jam’s “Yield” as the FAATT.)
1999 — Jimmy Eat World - “Clarity” (FAATT — Paul Westerberg - “Suicaine Gratifaction”)
2000 — Deftones - “White Pony” (I don’t even know if I made the right pick here. At the Drive-In’s “Relationship of Command” is just as good. Oh, decisions. The FAATT is hereby suspended. I’m a stubborn mule who no longer changes his mind.)
2001 — Alkaline Trio - “From Here to Infirmary”
2002 — Paul Westerberg - “Stereo/Mono”
2003 — The Lawrence Arms - “Greatest Story Ever Told” (The Wrens - “The Meadowlands” comes incredibly close.)
2004 — The Thermals - “Fuckin A” (Ted Leo & The Pharmacists - “Shake the Sheets” is just slightly behind.)
2005 — Bloc Party - “Silent Alarm”
2006 — The Hold Steady - “Boys and Girls in America”
2007 — The National - “Boxer”

I feel incredibly dirty.