[1] Tough year for music, 1981 was. Which isn’t to belittle Minor Threat or their accomplishments in establishing both the hardcore and straight edge scenes. But I’d much rather honor Ian McKaye for his tenure with Fugazi, and would have had these stupid rules not blocked their way onto the list in ’89 and ’98, when I was forced to play favorites against other records. Regardless, even if you’re not intending to make a list of your own, go ahead and peruse the releases for 1981 and tell me it’s not a head-scratcher.

[2] It can’t go unsaid that, in a perfect universe, I could choose two records for this year, and give Tom Waits’ “Rain Dogs” the props it absolutely deserves. As it stands, I’m a glutton for punishment and wouldn’t let myself double up on any year. Speaking of gluttons for punishment, McCain’s really going to stick it out until November, isn’t he? Seems like even the Senator has seen the writing on the wall…

[3] Yes, that’s the second Huey Lewis record. While you’re up there on your high horse, I’m down here absolutely rocking out to “Back in Time” with no shame whatsoever.

[4] This is the year that would have really, really benefited from a pure hindsight rule. No offense to Mr. Bon Jovi (whose birth name, in case you didn’t know, was John Bongiovi – is it more noteworthy that he split his last name into two, or that he dropped the “h” from John?), but this is the kind of thing that puts people into therapy. On the plus side, the record did have “Living in Sin,” which was hands down one of the best power ballads of the ‘80s, with a video that corrupted a million innocent, pre-teen lives.

[5] I suppose I should feel some sort of shame for picking the “Use Your Illusion” albums instead of Nirvana’s “Nevermind,” which everyone is still insisting was the best album of the 90’s when it wasn’t even the best (or second best, for that matter) Nirvana record of the 90s. And, I suppose I should insist that picking the “Illusion” records was purely a decision based on what I liked at the time, and that hindsight played no role in putting it on the list. But the truth is that I’ll still stand by these discs as purely audacious, grandly constructed pop-metal masterworks. If and when “Chinese Democracy” ever sees the light of day, critics and fans will spend weeks comparing and contrasting it to “Appetite for Destruction,” but as great as G’N’R’s debut was, these were better and bigger in every way. And as far as ’91 is concerned, I’ll take “Estranged” over “Come as You Are” any day of the week.

[6] Again, I’m forced to bend the rules just a bit and note that, if there was real justice in the system, Pulp’s “Different Class” would see its name in lights as well. For that matter, Pulp’s “This Is Hardcore,” is just as great of a record, and should get props under the 1998 heading. You see what this list makes you do? It’s a little like Solomon’s decision to split the baby in two, but instead of a baby, its Pulp records, and instead of two mothers, it’s a guy obsessing over a list he’s posting on the internet. But don’t let anyone tell you that Biblical stories aren’t applicable to real life man.

[7] Really the first year I can remember where I sat down and thought to myself, “That was my favorite record of the year,” which – if nothing else – would solidify Korn taking the spot on this list. But, haters be damned, I still stand by this disc today. Rap-metal kind of became the ‘hair metal” of the late 90s and early 00’s in that it was madly popular at the time, but swiftly became a near-universal punch line shortly thereafter. I’d argue – and, if I do say so myself, rightfully so – that there are shining moments in every genre. “Follow the Leader” is still a practically flawless listen ten years later, just like Poison’s “Flesh and Blood” is still pretty smart for something that’s supposed to be a dumb glam-rock record. Speaking of which, does anybody else think that Extreme kind of got jacked somewhere along the line in being grouped in with the rest of the hair metal bands? Yeah, they had the hair (or, at least, three-fourths of the band did), and they had the guitar solos, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that they were a little more inventive than they were ever given credit for. But I’ll stress the word “little,” because – you know – I have street cred to protect here.

[8] 2001 presents a bit of a turning point in the list, in that from every year forward my picks are based upon albums that I actually declared my albums of the year at the time in various forms of printed media, which basically ties my hands in even pretending like something else should be on the list instead.

[9] Fun fact: Outkast’s double album is actually the last of three records on my list that have won Album of the Year at the Grammys. (The other two - John Lennon and Yoko Ono’s “Double Fantasy” and Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.”) Which is fairly remarkable in that, you know, the Grammys are the most worthless award given out in any field this side of pretty much any award show broadcast on MTV. I’ve probably done a lifetime’s worth of whining about the Grammys already, but for posterity’s sake, let me just say that the breaking point for me came in 2001, when Steely Dan took home the album of the year prize over Beck’s “Midnite Vultures,” Radiohead’s “Kid A,” and Eminem’s “Marshall Mathers LP.” I mean, I’ll be the last person to insist that awards be given out solely based on relevancy and any sort of vague hipness factor, but you can only let someone hit you in the kidney so many times before you have to stop calling them ‘love taps,’ you know?