Who watches the Watchmen? I WILL.
By Erik Hagen • Feb 27th, 2009 • Category: Comics, Media, Movies
As you’re all hopefully all aware, I have a big day coming up. And don’t worry, I’ve been preparing myself. I’m reading all the books, buying all the stuff I’ll need. When the day finally comes, I just want to make sure I’m ready for it. God knows I’ve been waiting a long time for this.
But the day’s almost here. March 6. That’s the day. That’s the day The Watchmen comes out in theaters.
Okay, fine, yes. I’m having a baby too. That day is on March 11, or theoretically, any minute between now and March 11. And I certainly don’t mean to diminish the importance of that particular day, which I should clearly point out is the more important of the two days. But man, do I love The Watchmen. And I’m probably naming my child the Silk Spectre.
So here’s what I’m doing to get ready for the movie.
Putting the finishing touches on my Rorschach costume.
Still haven’t quite figured out how to make the ink spots move around, let alone how to see anything through the mask without eyeholes, but who cares really? I’ll be beating the shit out of criminals!
I am going to get so much candy, you don’t even know.
Locating a giant space squid.
Just because the movie won’t have one doesn’t mean I can’t.
Have all my molecules separated by an Intrinsic Field subtractor.
I think I’ll garner a lot more respect once I have absolute mastery over all physical matter. One would assume, anyway.
Picket the theater.
Because if you’ve read the books, you know there’s no way anyone should have to be subjected to watching Doctor Manhatten’s naked blue schlong for two hours and forty minutes straight. Somebody please just think of the children.
Pick up some smiley face stickers at Wal-Mart
That’s a Watchmen promotion thing, right? I just assumed.
Figuring out how to pronounce the word, “Hurr.”
It’s probably the way that it sounds, but you can never really be too careful. It’s a dangerous word to get wrong without displaying false aspersions.
Trying to think of Watchmen-related humor to include in a blog post that anyone besides me and about three other people would possibly understand.
You ever tried doing this one before? Yipes. Just yipes.
Okay, so you get the point. I’m a humongous man nerd displaying my humongous man nerdishness for all the Internet to see. I’m excited to see the film adaptation of a cult classic comic book that 98.5% of the human population has no knowledge of! Bask in my hipster nerdiness! Bask, I tell you!
I don’t really have anything else to add beyond that.
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Erik Hagen is comprised of equal parts X and Y chromosomes, snips, snails, puppy dog tails, and a whole lot of water. He was born into this world covered in blood, naked, and slightly hysterical. Very little has changed since.
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I’m basking…is anything supposed to happen as a result of this basking? A tan, maybe?
You will get the palest white tan that you’ll ever see.