There’s just so many questions I have about today’s Beetle Bailey.

1. Where did that plunger come from? It wasn’t in Beetle’s hand in the first panel.

2. What does Beetle intend to use the plunger for? Climbing? Unplugging a toilet? Or does he intend to beat Sarge to death with it in order to avoid his climbing duties?

3. Why is Sarge so angered by Beetle’s acquisition of the plunger? Does he know of its potential violent capabilities?

4. Why is Beetle’s platoon climbing hills when they should be pursuing the War on Terror?

5. That hill appears to be a pile of rock salt that is, at best, ten feet taller than the fence around it. In what way is this “hill” considered to be too steep?

6. Greg & Mort Walker? It took two people to write this strip?

7. Why is the plunger so long? How deep are the toilets in the Army latreens?

8. Sarge’s dog walks upright, wears the same clothing that he does and often mimics his actions. Does anyone else’s pets do these kinds of things?

9. What are the two soldiers on the bottom of the panel looking at? It’s not the hill. Is there an enemy army approaching their position unnoticed by Sarge or Beetle in their plunger-associated disagreement? Are these their last moments on earth before being brought down by a hail of gunfire?

10. How the hell is any of this supposed to be funny?