The NFl has announced their first ever 3-D broadcast of a live football game. Tonight’s game between the San Diego Chargers and the Oakland Raiders will be broadcast in 3-D in Los Angeles, New York and Boston theaters.

Now, the last time that I saw anything in 3-D, I was a small child at a drive-in theater with my folks. I don’t remember much about it, other than it was the beginning of my love affair with Raisinettes and I got to set up my sleeping bag in the back of our Ford Bronco. Nonetheless, I’m sure that this will be an interesting experience for all involved, aside from the fact that these people will have to sit through an entire NFL football game.

Of course, with every step forward, there are casualties and hiccups in performance. Here’s five that I forsee being a problem:

1. Half of the audience tests positive for performance-enhancing drugs after watching the game.

2. Some unfortunate theater-goers suffering concussions from violent hits by the Chargers’ Shawn Merriman.

3. Theater floors made even stickier after crowd tries to douse the winning head coach with a tub of Gatorade after the game.

4. Numerous cries of “down in front” after some jackass starts the wave.

5. Perforated theater screens from too many fans taking the term “armchair quarterback” far too literally.

So, be careful, theater-goers. Too bad that the Miami Dolphins aren’t playing, you’d be able to get a contact high from Ricky Williams.