You didn’t realize it, but yesterday was the Day of the Ninja. And the reason you didn’t know about it was because the ninjas didn’t want you to know, but if they had, they would’ve jumped out from behind a tree and wished you a happy Day of the Ninja right before they snapped your neck and disappeared back into the shadows. So if that didn’t happen to you yesterday, consider yourself lucky, jerk.

Now I wanted a write a post about the Day of the Ninja yesterday, but I couldn’t, because I was being quiet and all. Because that’s what us ninjas do. We stay quiet and we don’t move around all that much, so that makes blogging difficult. But today I can tell you all about it, because it’s now the day after the Day of the Ninja, and that means I can talk as much as I want. It also means I can come out from under my desk. Which is good, because it really doesn’t smell all that good down there.

I celebrated the Day of the Ninja the same way I always do - I called in sick to work, but what they didn’t know is that I came into work anyway … as a ninja. Throughout the day, I stalked my coworkers as they went about doing their work. From the shadows I watched them, waiting for my opportunity to strike. I spent most of the day in the break room, waiting for my opportunity to strike, drinking coffee (black) and watching my soaps. A good time was had. I was very stealthy.

So anyway, today I’m back at work and I’m not a ninja. But I am enjoying the fruits of my labors yesterday, as one by one, the people I work with unwittingly walk into all the ninja traps I set up last night. I dug a big hole in front of my desk and covered it up with bamboo leaves. Nobody’s stepped on it yet, but the day’s still young. It’s gonna be so awesome when someone does.

But I’ve already said too much. Gotta go.

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