I enjoy unique and creative spam as much as the next guy, but I found this special nugget in my gmail spam folder this morning:

From: deadlykillers2001@gmail.com
Subject: KILL

Attn,

I am very sorry for you, is a pity that this is how your life is going to
end as soon as you don’t comply. As you can see we are the members of the
Deadly Networks in the world, which is responsible for the bombing of twin
tower’s in America on Sept. 11th and the bombing of London transport
services on July 7th (AL-QUAEDA NETWORKS), I don’t have any business with
you, my duty as I am mailing you now is just to KILL you and I have to do
it as I have already been paid for that.

Someone whom you called your friend wants you dead by all means, and this
person have spent a lot of money in this venture, This person came to us
and told me that he wanted you dead and he provided us with your name,
picture and other necessary information’s we needed about you. So I sent
my boys to track you down this including bugging of your phones with
satellite tracking devices and they have carried out the necessary
investigation we needed for the operation on you, and if you doubt this
information am going to give you all the necessary information about you
back to you in your next reply so that you can believe me, and my boys are
really on you but I told them not to kill you that I will like to contact
you and see if your life is important to you and the one of your family. I
called my client back and ask him of your email address which I didn’t
tell him what I wanted to do with it and he gave it to me and I am using
it to contact you now. As I am writing you this mail my men are monitoring
you and they are telling me everything about you.

Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? Since all program has be made and draw to
kill you. Get back to me now if you are ready to pay some fees to spare
your Life, $15,000 is all you need to spend in this process you will first
of all Pay $8,000 and then I will send a tape to you which I recorded in
every discussion I had with the person who wanted you dead and as soon as
you get the Tape, You will pay the remaining balance of $7,000. If you are
not ready for my help, then I will carry on with my job straight-up.

WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELLING ANYONE
BECAUSE I WILL KNOW ,REMEMBER, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANT YOU
DEAD!
I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY, INCASE I NOTICE SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT
YOUR TELLING THE SECURITY ABOUT IT BECAUSE A GOOD LOOK IS OUT YOU AT THE
MOMENT.
DO NOT COME OUT ONCE IT IS 7PM UNTIL I MAKE OUT TIME TO SEE YOU AND GIVE
YOU THE TAPE OF ALL DISCUSSION WITH THE PERSON WHO WANT YOU DEAD THEN YOU
CAN USE IT TO TAKE ANY LEGAL ACTION. GOOD LUCK AS I AWAIT YOUR REPLY

I know that I have enemies, but I’m pretty sure my ex-wife cut off her ties with Al Qaeda after our first child was born, and all of my other haters are too poor to put a hit out on me.

Do these spammers think I’m stupid?

Now I’m off to Nigeria to collect an inheritance from the late Dr. Fuarez Mondingy’s wife.

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