Sod Saves the Economy
By Crystal • Dec 21st, 2007 • Category: General Sod
An economics reporter on the Today show said this weekend’s retail sales could be an indication as to whether America faces a recession in 2008.
Do your civic duty! Save America! Shop shop shop!
I will be spending my ever-patriotic dollars all day today as I head into the fold to do my final bout of holiday shopping for my man. Because I live in the rural creases of the United States, the shelves in all stores will be empty and bare, licked clean by the better-planning patriot shoppers before me. He will end up getting a can of Flavorite cranberry sauce and a shiney new spoon.
I am a procrastinator. I am American.
But there will be reams and reams of horrific wrapping paper to choose from, so it will at least be festivally wrapped. Festivally? Is that a word? It is now.
Crystal is grossly opposed to many things, including consistently contributing to anything.
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Going shopping the weekend right before X-mas? Make sure to bring your mace, taser and deck yourself out in your most festive riot gear.
If you can find yourself one of those shotguns that shoots bean-bags, I’d recommend it, as well.
Hope to see you on the other side…