I’ve been asked to post this video, which is a take on the hiring process we here at Sod employ. Now, I’m sure that, to some of you, this may paint Sod in a bad light. Please, let me assure you, we’d never, ever hire someone who finished first in their class at Harvard. Besides, everyone knows that you get better head from a Cornell grad. (te-he, Ivy League humor…)

This may explain why our current staff is populated with a bunch of beaten-down, cowardly folks who reek of desperation. Except for Erik, who, of course, smells vaguely of bacon and Hershey’s Kisses. Although it doesn’t explain why most of us are men…

Anyway, now that our practices were exposed, we are forced to change the way that we do things here. Due at least partially to legal and, ahem, moral restrictions, we have streamlined things a bit.

Instead of a series of really, really good blowjobs, we bring in all of our applicants at once, have them strip naked, coat themselves in Crisco, enter an inflatable kiddie pool and wrestle for the privilege of volunteering to write for our fine institution. That’s just how we roll. Plus, it helps to weed out the weak, leaving us with the slippery. Being slippery is an essential quality to have if you’re a blogger. Slippery…