After a week’s worth of anti-Thanksgiving activities meant to cleanse this country of Thanksgiving once and for all, I awoke this morning in a surprisingly good mood and quickly ran outside to bask in my efforts. But once I got outside, I came to the surprising realization that all of my neighbors had gathered together in song. This was odd, I thought. If there was no Thanksgiving, then why would they be singing?  And then I saw the bottles of cranberry schnapps littered all over the street, and I realized the horrible truth.

 I hadn’t stopped Thanksgiving from coming! IT CAME!

Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And so I, with my oversized feet in the snow stood puzzling and puzzling,  ”How could it be so? It came without turkey. It came without cranberries. It came without Uncle Bernie passed out in this underwear-ies.” And I’ve puzzled three hours, ’till my puzzler was sore. Then I thought of something I hadn’t before.

“This whole thing is stupid! I still have my pride! It was a lame premise for a blog! I can go back inside!”

And what happened then…? Well, in Bismarck, they say that old Erik’s black heart stayed exactly the same.

And so I went back to bed.