Monkey and me.
By Erik Hagen • Apr 1st, 2009 • Category: General Sod, Sod that is good
I know I’ve been doing this a lot lately, but I wanted to introduce you today to the newest member of my family. This is Mojo.
Mojo is a white tufted marmoset, and is only one years old. It has been a lifelong dream of mine to someday own a monkey, and after literally years of begging and pleading, I finally convinced my wife to let me get one. So here she is. My new helper monkey.
In case you’re wondering, there is usually a long list of requirements one needs to own a monnkey. Fortunately for me, North Dakota is one of a handful of states that has no laws against keeping a monkey as a pet. You don’t even need a permit. So I happened to find a website online (they asked me not to link to them, a request I am choosing to honor) that specializes in this kind of thing, and now I have my own monkey.
As you’re probably well aware, I did recently have a baby, and I will admit that the timing of it all did make me a tad nervous. Fortunately, though, things really couldn’t have worked out better. Mojo is actually quite delicate with Izabel. Even though they’re about the same size, Mojo is somehow quite capable of carrying Izabel from room to room with little effort. It’s really quite the sight.
As for my cat though, their relationship is still a work in progress. It would probably help if she’d come up out of the basement.
So what’s involved in owning a pet monkey? Well, it turns out it’s a lot easier than most people would have you believe. They’re a lot, in fact, like small people. You dress them up in infant clothing, they eat most of the same food that you do, and they dedicate most of their time to the same things that most people do, like watching television, sleeping, and defecating on the carpet. The smell takes a little getting used to, but for the most part, I would have to say I’m pretty happy with how things are working. In fact, I have told my wife that I’ll probably have Mojo potty trained before the baby. I think I have a good shot at it.
So anyway, I thought today would be a good day to introduce you to my new best friend Mojo. Maybe I can start augmenting my Izzy Fridays with Mojo Mondays or something. Let me know if you want to see Mojo in certain outfits or what not. I like dressing her up in her little ninja outfit and then letting her run around the house trying to be invisible and sneaking up on me. If I didn’t know better, I’d be afraid to fall asleep some nights.
I finally have my very own monkey. If this is a dream, please don’t anyone wake me up.
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Erik Hagen is comprised of equal parts X and Y chromosomes, snips, snails, puppy dog tails, and a whole lot of water. He was born into this world covered in blood, naked, and slightly hysterical. Very little has changed since.
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You know, you should be able to save a lot on daycare and babysitting costs too, if you can train the monkey to watch the baby.
That’s a great idea, and I’ll get to work right on it, just as soon as I find out where the monkey hid the baby. I’ve been cross-examining her all morning, but she’s a tough nut to crack.