That’s right, kneel. On your knees.

You have arthritis? Shit.

Okay, how about a bow?

You have a bad back? Sweet fuck mother of pearl…

How about a reverent handshake, then?

Arthritis again. Of course…

A salute?

Not the Boy Scout salute, something more formal.

No, not that, I’m not Hitler for pete’s sake. Stop doing that. Yeah, don’t do that. Ever again.

Why are you grabbing your crotch? How is that even a salute?

Just…just forget it. Let’s move on.

Anyway, I’m Nate. I think I can officially say that I’m the first contributor to Sodblog. I may have to check with the men upstairs, but I’m pretty sure that’s right. I know that the Grand Pooba (or Intergalactic Overlord, I’m not sure what Erik wants to be referred to as of yet), has already introduced himself to you fine people, so I figured it was my turn.

So…you like, umm, stuff? Great.

I’m not very good at introducing myself. Sorry. I will say that I’m very excited to be here blogging at Sodblog. I hope that you’re excited to see what we have to offer.