How deeply the news media has sunk in the name of hyperbole.
By Erik Hagen • Aug 28th, 2008 • Category: General Sod, Obscure
According to the BBC, a spider has forced a family to move out of their home.
Spider forces family out of home
A soldier’s family have been frightened out of their home by a spider thought to have been brought to Essex from Afghanistan in a kitbag.
Lorraine Griffiths and her three children have moved out of their house in Colchester, the RSPCA said.
They are refusing to return until the large sandy-coloured creature, thought to be a camel spider, is captured.
An RSPCA spokeswoman confirmed they had visited the house but failed to locate the creature.
“If it is the spider they believe it is, then normally they don’t attack humans, but they could give a painful bite,” the spokeswoman said.Mrs Griffiths believes the spider got to the UK in a kitbag brought home in June by her husband, Rodney, 32, when he returned from Afghanistan.
He is now back there on a further tour of duty.
She said the spider was seen in her bedroom by her two elder children, aged 18 and 16, and an electrician working at their home.
“They identified the spider using the internet,” she said.
Well, now, I have to say that this is completely absurd. They identified the spider using the Internet? Are you mad? How can an arachnid use the Internet? They don’t have the proper cognitive abilities to operate such a complicated device, and furthermore, how would they even turn the computer on in the first place? They are far too small a creature to do any such thing. How the BBC can print such nonsense with a straight face I will never understand, and beyond that … Oh, dear Lord. Somebody’s com
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Holy crap, you should’ve seen the size of that spider I just smashed on my keyboard. It was frigging huge.
Wait, what’s this? Somebody wrote me a free blog entry! Hooray!
Erik Hagen is comprised of equal parts X and Y chromosomes, snips, snails, puppy dog tails, and a whole lot of water. He was born into this world covered in blood, naked, and slightly hysterical. Very little has changed since.
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Reminds me of an article I read in The Onion, Escaped Caterpillar Goes on Brutal Rampage. I mean, it’s huge but you can just stomp on it, it’s not as though a spider will keep coming once you bring 190lbs of foot down on top of it.
Speaking from experience, I do know that if a spider does manage to keep coming at you after dropping a 190-pound foot on it, it might be a good idea to run.
In that case, 190lbs of foot, 200lbs of anvil, and burn the house down, call in exterminators, and toss in a grenade.
If it still keeps coming at you, then put it in a reinforced jar and sell it to the circus.
This makes me wonder where did the spider learn its computer skills? Does it have enough strength to push the on/off button on the computer to make it boot up? Maybe the computer was already on and the spider just managed to move the mouse and click on either IE or Firefox and start surfing the net. What was it looking for? Spiders are very smart, aren’t they?
I am so confused. I did not understand anything that was written in the comments. I guess I cannot read in English. I should do a better job at reading I guess. I would be scared to death if I saw some spider that was thought to have been brought back from another country. And I think all the guys here are probably scared and to manly to admit it. You chair huggers. Lol
Few spiders are actually deadly but there are enough species that are deadly to show that this woman had some common sense in getting out until it was positively identified, found, and contained. if I had children I would probably have done the same thing. have you ever seen a brown recluse bite? If not Google it and take a long hard look and then make fun of that lady.
First of all they identified the spider by using the internet. Well that should not be taken seriously, did they get a picture of it and can identify it to be exactly what they found, as that would be the only true way of knowing what it is. Have they made any contact with one of the scientists who study spiders to see if they could be mistaken.