During the holiday season, there is a hierarchy of gift types to buy.
1. If you like the person and want them to feel cared for, buy them something expensive and meaningful. Jewelry, electronics, diesel…
2. You are OK with this person exchanging oxygen for Carbon Dioxide and you wish them no harm—Inexpensive perfume, faux leather goods, Dollar Store music CDs from Kenny G.
3. You do not like these people. Why are they alive? Just to annoy you? I can’t believe I have to give a gift to these people! I hate court-ordered gift exchanges! Give Hickory Farms. Nothing says “I wish you harm” more than small meats and cheeses.

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