It’s been really great being with you these past few years. We’ve had our good times and our bad, our ups and our downs, but it’s been a lot of fun all the way through. You’ve made me a better person and I’d like to think that I’ve done the same for you.

I was thinking the other night about that time that we decided to go skinny dipping in Minnesota’s back yard. Those were the days! I have so many good memories of our time together, and I’d hoped that we could continue on forever, but…well, I guess I should just say it.

I think it’s time we saw other people.

I know this probably comes as a shock to you. I mean, we had planned that trip to Mexico for the summer and we were going to go out on Lake Erie in August on Michigan’s houseboat. So many plans… I’m sorry, Ohio & Texas, but I just didn’t see this working out. I can’t say when the feelings of doubt first crept into my mind, but I know that they solidified last night. Sure, it’s petty of me to base such a big decision on the way that you voted in the Democratic presidential primaries, but sometimes I can be a petty person. You know this better than anyone.

Ohio, when one-fifth of voters in your state polled said that race was an issue in this election and then most of them voted for Hillary, I just couldn’t see us being together any longer. And Texas, when most of your rural areas went for Hillary while the urban centers went for Barack, I knew that we could no longer be together. I know that you’re a maverick and all, but I never had your wide-open spaces pegged as being inhabited by sundowners.

I don’t want to make this into a litany of the wrongs that you’ve incurred on me. It’s not constructive and lord knows I’ve done my fair amount of shitty things to you. Like that time I set Cuyahoga River on fire. And Texas, even though my little sister and her husband live within your state lines, I have not once come to visit them. I know, I’m just as much at fault in this breakup as you are. I’m not going to duck my share of the blame.

Next to this letter, you’ll notice that I left your copy of of the first season DVD set of the Drew Carey Show, Ohio. I honestly never saw what you did in that show, and I just didn’t have the heart to tell you. Texas, I left our pet longhorn steer, Buttons. You’ll be able to take care of him better than I ever would.

When you get the chance if you could return to me the Rock and Roll Museum and Lebron James and that statue of Stevie Ray Vaughan that is in downtown Austin, I’d be forever grateful. You know my address, just mail them to me.

I really do wish that it didn’t have to end this way, but you both succumbed to fear mongering and insidious innuendo in the days leading up to the primary vote, and that’s just not what I want in a state that I plan on spending the rest of my life with.

Goodbye, Ohio & Texas. It was great while it lasted.

-Nate S.

PS- Feel free to call Rhode Island to commiserate. I broke up with them earlier. It wasn’t pretty. -NS

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