man oh man, this blogging gig is a real trip! i’ll set this all up by admitting, yes, this is my first blog attempt ever… EVER; i know, huh… where have i been? auspicious that the place i decide to get my feet wet has already explored the depths of penis enlargement spam, which i once thought was an area of expertise proprietary to me. subsequent to the shocking revelation that i can claim no singularity in my enthusiasm for the subject, i was forced to follow a stream of consciousness, if for no other reason than to generate some novel material, original and inspiring, breath-taking, monumental in scale. observe:

“but enough about my desk and my penis. my penis isn’t really as big as i imagine it would have to be in the phony anecdote i made up above when i ran out of stuff to talk about regarding my desk, but its at least big enough to lay out onto my desk in an effort to contrast differences in texture between the soft, fleshy plumpness of my penis with the not-granite veneer covering the entirety of my desk like some plasticene candy coating, like if particle board could sweat plastic. a curious, yet completely understandable effect occurs, however, when i rest my penis on the desk’s surface: it shrinks away from the cold veneer, that, though not made of granite, could be as cold as granite, and thus, the otherwise cut-rate sham of a granite desk surface successfully replicates one component of all rocks the world over… “

surprisingly, or maybe not nearly as surprising as i may be alluding to by using the word “surprisingly”, i went on to discuss the authoritarian regime openly operating in this country, masking itself as a legitimate force instilling values and morals in the citizens of these united states, and the various injustices committed by said regime upon practitioners of the innocently carnal (and completely natural) act of defiling a particularly attractive rock. in the process, i at once understood my own inclinations to exercise my prerogatives, while at the same time considered the idea that another person’s outrage at my actions could be justified; hell, that rock could be someone’s pet. as we get to know each other in this forum, maybe we’ll continue to experience additional bursts of insight.

caveat: i’m seeing some of the jokers here posting media, you know, pictures and probably hypering up their links, if’n ya feel me. you’ll likely get no such accoutrement from me, you greedy pricks… i italicise, and that should suffice. let me drop the curmudgeonly tone for just moment, though: i’m really looking forward to sharing some truly fascinating material with you, the readers, of whom i suspect consist almost exclusively of the contributors.

so, honestly, any guidance or suggestions as to what topics i should be tackling that are beyond Erik’s or Nate’s scope of vision, please feel free to share them. i’ve become rather attached to my desk as of late, for reasons defying description, so i’ll be checking the boards near constantly. achtung!