Let’s face it, no one really likes clowns. It’s amazing that they’re still around, haunting us, stepping on our feet with their comically over-sized shoes and exceeding the occupancy limits of small automobiles in a flagrant disregard for the law. They’re shameless, soulless and, let’s face it, probably the same guys that play Santa in the mall at Christmas.

So, it probably comes as no surprise that, as a child, I was terrified of clowns. We all were. Those who say they weren’t are probably Replicants and should be caught and terminated immediately. Someone find Rick Deckard, quick.

In my bedroom, on …

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