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Archives for the ‘Politics’ Category

Ten words I never want to hear again after this primary.

By Erik Hagen • May 6th, 2008 • Category: Politics
Ten words I never want to hear again after this primary.

I am hoping against hope that today will bring an end to the Never-ending Democratic Primary That Technically Ended Two Months Ago But SHHHHH Nobody Tell That To Hillary Clinton Because She’ll Get Super Pissed. I’m hoping for a definitive ending, but then again, I’m not stupid enough to actually believe it’ll happen, being that […]



Forced Penetration Required by Law in Oklahoma

By idyllicmollusk • May 2nd, 2008 • Category: Politics
Forced Penetration Required by Law in Oklahoma

Forced penetration is now required by law in Oklahoma, but only for sluts (i.e. women who want to terminate their pregnancies. You know, sluts.)
Get ready to vom. Recall this post about the Oklahoma legislature bill allowing abortion-seeking women the freedom of eye movement? I jested that this bill was a human rights […]



Your Vulva Can Only Be Cut Off Once

By idyllicmollusk • May 1st, 2008 • Category: Politics
Your Vulva Can Only Be Cut Off Once

Recently, the US Board of Immigration Appeals denied asylum to three women who had been victims of FGM (female genital mutilation) in their home country of Guinea because they had no well-founded fear of further persecution, since your vulva can only be cut off once.
To be clear, in Guinea, 95% of women are subjected to […]



Helen Thomas Is The Balls

By Nate • Apr 24th, 2008 • Category: Politics
Helen Thomas Is The Balls

A few of you might remember a revelation that came to light rather quietly a few weeks ago and has since been more or less ignored by the press. It seems a certain leader of the free world and his top aides approved something that they had for years been denying any knowledge of. In […]



Shout Out to African Dock Workers!

By idyllicmollusk • Apr 23rd, 2008 • Category: Politics
Shout Out to African Dock Workers!

You know how we Americans like to be telling African countries what to do all the time? Like: “Use this un-tested birth control and stop having black babies!” or “Globalize your financial markets despite rampant corruption in your financial industry.” How about “Be thankful that Shell is pillaging your land; at least now […]



Election 2008 - Total Insanity

By Erik Hagen • Apr 22nd, 2008 • Category: Politics
Election 2008 - Total Insanity

Since today’s Pennsylvania primary is the next step in the fake election that’s technically already decided but continues onwards because everyone in this country likes to think they’re watching a real fight, it seems oddly appropriate that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton took their messages directly to the people most inclined towards that kind of […]



Declare Your Independance!

By Nate • Apr 21st, 2008 • Category: Politics
Declare Your Independance!

I am a registered Independent in the state of Oregon.
I know that most people don’t willingly divulge their party affiliations without a fight, but I’m tired of not caring. I may identify more with Democratic views than I do with Republican, but not enough to feel like I should have to register as one. Our […]



OK Bill Allowing Women Freedom of Eye Movement a Human Rights Victory

By idyllicmollusk • Apr 14th, 2008 • Category: Politics
OK Bill Allowing Women Freedom of Eye Movement a Human Rights Victory

Oklahoma, long a pioneer of human rights and social justice, is poised to ratchet up another victory, this one for women’s rights.
In a bill recently sent to Governor Brad Henry for consideration, women are granted the freedom to move their eyes about as they wish, even at doctor’s appointments.
The bill SB 1878, which is […]



Sod Is Bitterly Clinging to Guns and Religion

By Nate • Apr 14th, 2008 • Category: Politics
Sod Is Bitterly Clinging to Guns and Religion

I’m sure by now you’ve all heard about the remarks Senator Obama made about small town Americans. As the weekend wore on for me, I watched it get twisted and over-analyized to the point of meaninglessness. This happens every time a candidate makes a statement that is even the least controversial, but oddly does not […]



Take Your Guns to Work Day

By idyllicmollusk • Apr 11th, 2008 • Category: Politics
Take Your Guns to Work Day

Every Day Is Take-Your-Guns-to-Work Day, at least in Florida
The Florida Senate just passed a very sensible measure, and it is awaiting the signature of Governor Charlie Crist. Pending approval, every worker in the state, with a few minor exceptions, can bring their guns to work every day. So long as they have […]