The big news out of North Dakota (aka “The State You Probably Didn’t Know Existed”) recently is that we are sitting on top of the largest known oil reserves in the lower 48 states, at up to 4.3 billion barrels. This was, of course, a complete surprise to everyone here in the northern most Dakota, […]
If you’re like me (and seriously, if you are, God speed, brother), you probably spend a lot of your day wondering what you’d do if you were stuck in an elevator for 41 hours. Well, according to this YouTube video I just watched, it would seem the answer is: pushing buttons, laying down, crawling up […]
I can trace the beginning of the end of my childhood to the first moment I chose to take razor to skin and remove the protective coating of hair evolution had afforded me.
It was the summer between fifth and sixth grades. I would sleep until 10 am as I was completely left unattended for the […]
You’re probably like me and thinking to yourself that this election season has been way too focused on the important issues. Why can’t it instead focus on inconsequential bullshit? Well, fortunately for us, the AP is on the job.
Obama Related to Pitt, Clinton to Jolie
By DENISE LAVOIE – 9 hours ago
BOSTON (AP) — This could […]
And now, all you people at home. Call the neighbors. Wake the kids. It’s time, once again to play everybody’s favorite game, What the Hell was This Guy Thinking?
• Couldn’t adequately fit “You Might Be A Redneck” on his forehead.
• Looking for a quicker way to tell people he’s an idiot.
• Didn’t quite grasp the […]
Since I saw that Erik had posted a funny picture for Friday, and since I’ve totally forgotten to write up another installment of “Growing Up Nate,” I thought I’d get in on the Friday Funnies theme. As with Erik’s, this is all I have for this post. It’s Friday
I had one of those existential moments of crisis when I left the house this morning. As I was about a block away from my house, I shifted in my seat and had a feeling like there was a part of me missing. After one of those moments of self-evaluation that I’ve been known to […]
It’s that most magical time of the year, President’s Day. Today is the day that we, as Americans, come together in the spirit of unity by waiting for James K. Polk’s zombie to come down our chimneys and fill out stockings with acorns and bacon gristle. I’ve spent all day hiding my President’s Day Eggs […]
Us blue-eyed people, we’re special. Even science says so. So, unless you don’t believe in science (I’m talking to YOU, Kansas) you can no longer contend that I am not special.
Scientists have discovered that, initially, all humans had brown eyes. It was a genetic mutation that caused blue eyes to first appear.
I have a […]
The other day, without warning, a package arrived on my desk at work. I don’t know where it came from. I don’t know who left it. And, most ominously, I don’t know what it means.
As you can clearly see from the photographic evidence above, the offending package is a barrel of monkeys. This is not […]
