Because the Sara Bareilles song is on every commercial that I can’t fast forward through, or on every mall speaker system, and because the popularity of the sad-bastard music of the Plain White T’s means I have the whole tune memorized without ever having intentionally listened to Delilah, I made this song. Here’s […]

If you don’t have HBO this season, I’m sorry.
It’s not because you’ll miss the crazy antics of those feisty bigamist Mormons in HBO’s Big Love, or the asinine drivel that spews from Bill Maher’s frothy mouth every Friday night (my hatred for Bill Maher is only rivaled by my disgust with Seth Rogen).
What you’re missing […]

So far today I have:
Basted ham at least three times, every half hour, before realizing that I’d turned the oven off two hours before.
Opened the box of potatoes (Yes, mother, BOX!! I’ll never mash potatoes again!) from the bottom (me: could they make this any more difficult?! Boyfriend: It might be easier if you use […]

An economics reporter on the Today show said this weekend’s retail sales could be an indication as to whether America faces a recession in 2008.
Do your civic duty! Save America! Shop shop shop!
I will be spending my ever-patriotic dollars all day today as I head into the fold to do my final bout of holiday […]

In an effort to bring some femininity to this blog (and because I want desperately to fit in and have realized that I’m one of the only bloggers who has not given you a detailed minute-by-minute description of a slightly useless/life-changing event) I’m giving you a play-by-play of my most recent effort to create the […]

The ex-girlfriend and baby’s mama of Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher (who miserably failed us against the Vikings last night), sued former Riverdancer Mikey Flatley for….drumroll…$33 million for sexual harassment and was ordered…drumroll again…to pay $11 million to Flatley for defamation.
All I have to say is: Really? Is Flatley even straight? Is that what the defamation is […]

In case the two people who read my blog have noticed my absence (my boyfriend and, of course, Seth Rogen), it’s because I’ve been traveling. Don’t worry, I’ve decided to never do it again. The stress of getting from one mode of transportation to the other nearly made my little head explode at least three […]

Spoiler: Mr. Magorium dies, but it’s really not that important…except when it happens, it means there’s only 15 minutes of the movie left. That is very important.
Another Spoiler: Dustin Hoffman patters around a creepy, enchanted toystore, revisiting his Rainman days by talking like a stroke victim with a lisp. He leaves this […]

(Cue Ride of the Valkyries….wait for it, wait for it…)
Today, I finally watched The Godfather.
I had to cue Ride of the Valkyries because that’s the song my personal soundtrack plays whenever I’ve decided to conquer something I’ve been putting off for mostly irrational reasons. It plays a lot, because I’m a procrastinator and a journalist.
I […]